toi et moi 2

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

* * *

こんな人が多いので、最近のオフィスは6時には
順番に電気が消えていくそうです。

そして、
dumb boss + dumb employee + Early clock-out = home office

<strong>SHOPPING MATH</strong>

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

* * *

男性は好きな物にお金を使うべく、お金を節約するのです。
女性は好きな物を節約するために、大好きな物にお金を使うのです。

<strong>GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS</strong>

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

* * *

成功する妻とは、旦那に2万の小遣いでやりくりさせ、
夫が好きな車を買うときにお金を出してやるような人です。

<strong>HAPPINESS</strong>

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

* * *

所詮違う生き物と割り切るか、性別の壁を乗り越えると割り切るか。

<strong>LONGEVITY</strong>

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.

* * *

A husband loves a wife until death aparts them.

<strong>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE</strong>

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

* * *

変わらぬものを持つことが、男も女も一生の財産です。
例： 愛。

<strong>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE</strong>

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

* * *

口論には終わりがありませんが、
抱擁するのに必要なものは二本の手と口論を終わらせる勇気です。

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

* * *

○●式でしか会わない親戚連中は、いつもこういいます。
「大きくなったねぇ､こないだ会ったときはこんなんだったのにねぇ」
ボクはピーターパンじゃありません。